TODAY I OVERCAME FEAR

Image by Ana Santos via Flickr

I began two years ago, willy nilly, running rampant through the internet trying to find my purpose. The reason why ones life has turned out the way it has. Well, this journey took me to places so far from the realm of anything I ever expected to accomplish, and yet it blessed me with a clear and open mind. I am now able to see the world without the rose-colored glasses. The glasses a mother gives her child to protect him/her from the real world. They are off now; and I see the world in a way I never thought I ever could. The synchronicities of life are so blatantly beckoning me in a direction that I would have, in the past, been too afraid to encounter. Today was the first day I had to overcome all the fears and believe in myself so much that even the unkind words of a man I thought was my friend, could not stop me. I did not allow stopping myself by the pain that his words brought to me. I did everything in my power to keep going. Today was the last day that another “man” (or woman), would be my excuse for not going where I truly belong. Today, I overcame fear.

Fear has been the one emotion I completely understand. Fear was the vessel that all thoughts ran through in my mind. Fear was the tool that snapped my mind closed when I faced It. Fear was the voice of anger screaming in my face, the smell of alcohol making me tremble, the lines in my father’s face forming the look that we all recognized as the time for the other shoe to drop. It always did, because we always expected it to. Conditioned by the familiarity of the steps; always taking us to the same ending. We never learned that we only had to change how we thought about; what we expected to see change. I have been coming up on this for two years now and I finally faced it today. When a person yells in my face, I get to “choose not to accept” that behavior and I can do that by walking away, not enabling the bad behavior by accepting it. I am not the small child whose father taught her to live in fear; I am a strong healthy minded mature woman making her own choices about what takes place in her life. I am the adult that took the words my father said to me with malice, “It’s all in your head,” to heart, and realized that he had given me an amazing gift by telling me that. When a person treats me as poorly as that man did today, I know it has nothing to do with me. His mind controls his behavior, as mine controls my behavior. I choose to not respond or accept behavior like that ever again. I am saddened when I think that my strength makes others feel weak and weakness makes then angry; but it is not acceptable behavior so I will not. “It is “really” not my business what others think of me.” ">A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)">A New Earth: awakening to Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club section 61)

As my purpose was unfolding today, I found myself having many of those private conversations we have with ourselves when we think no one is listening. The ones we all have, I know I am not alone in that. I often joke to my friends that my neighbors must think I’m off my trolley when they know I live alone and I am talking aloud, vehemently trying to make my point, to the invisible me. If I have to keep rejecting people in my life based on bad behavior I will probably find myself having more conversations with the invisible me. I joked with my friend today and told her I would wave from my back yard, as I thought how alone I might have to be. Living in a neighborhood is not at all, as Mister Rogers said it would be. He said we would all be friends, however, where is he when I need him? Maybe I should contact him through one of the dimensions I know exists around me now. Maybe when I am in a guided meditation, quantum leaping to the top of a giant daisy, I will find him and finally ask to explain how he could be so cheerful in that neighborhood everyday. “It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Won’t you be my friend?” I am making a joke of all of this because I actually find it humorous that I saw so clearly today, what I wish I had seen so many years ago. Years before raising my own children, years before my divorces, my bad relationships, and my bad working relationships with men that rejected me in management positions over them. Men that because of their small minded thinking, and lack of self esteem, manipulated and choreographed my demise from management positions, by convincing other men that I was just another emotional woman, and had no right to be in a position of power over them. Moreover, here I was thinking that the world has changed and men and women all realize that we are all equal. Sorry, I had to stop there for a moment to stop laughing at myself. Equal, in what universe? Isn’t it time to open our eyes and minds and really remember that “there is no new thing under the sun?”

The purpose that I discovered today has nothing to do with my treatment by others. I am only observing how my day went, despite the fact that I found myself, the confidence, and the ability to go after the one thing I know was meant be. I have begun to create the blueprint for the program that I know will help others like me, which come from dysfunction mentally or physically, to heal them and re-create their lives. Free themselves from the obstacles that stand in their way, and teach others to do the same. I have discovered the “positive catch-22.” The “give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will eat forever.” Help another find their passion, and despite obstacles, disabilities, and the disservice of others; find their way to the life they desire. Get up to a job everyday that they love. A job that is truly them, the real them, the person they were meant to be. More to come….

WOULD YOU REALLY SAY "NO" TO A "FREE" LUNCH?

Click Here for your Free Traffic!

WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM OURSELVES?

We never really know what we can expect from ourselves until it really comes down to the bottom line. With less than hours left of my school week, I managed somehow to erase my hard drive which had become infested with a virus, reformat it in time to get back to completing my assignments for the week, even after many frantic notes to my professor. I am amazed at myself and feeling refreshed because I have created a fresh start for myself. Of course I will first have to find the cookbook I was writing, it seems I may have thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

Sometimes we have to take a step back, just to move forward. We have to force ourselves to part with the things that are creating unecessary stress in our lives. It may be people or things...but if it is making you consistently unhappy...what is it really worth? Life is meant to be lived and I consider "failures just another door to success."

I GIVE UP

Image via WikipediaThe electrical world and I should seriously part company, because if its electrical and knows I'm coming it immediately goes into this walking, talking, unexplainable, robotic like, aura and I am lost in it for days. But pretty much everything these days is electrical so i really can't avoid them it, but you are not like me, right? you can use electrical things, like a toaster or an iron without burning the toast or the clothes. If so read on:

If it's electrical it's here. Whatever it is you need for your home for necessity, luxury or comfort and ease, you'll find it here. Check us out first.

But if you are like me...there is just no hope...give it up.

DJK Presents... Google Assassin

DJK Presents... Google Assassin

JOIN FOR FREE!

For all your software needs check out CGI first. While your there check out the affiliate opportunity they offer.
"Refer Once. Get Paid Repeatedly."
Generate a steady monthly income by freeing others from the headaches of web software development and installation."
JOIN FOR FREE!

WELCOME WITH LIST DOT COM!

I want to kick of the opening of Gratitude Affiliate Central with it's first new Affiliate Program from List Dot Com. Build a list overnight with List Dot Com. The money is the list and if this is the first time you are hearing that, then keep reading: